The Blog

Finding my own footing . . .

Being a parent, I find that most of what makes me think, is watching my girls find their way.  My youngest daughter, who I've mentioned before, has an incredible will.  She will not let fear beat her.

She went on a play date with her friend and her friends mom.  They went to a rock climbing gym.  The mom assured my little girl that she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to.  I can certainly say, she was scared.  But being scared makes my little one angry that she's IS scared (I wish I was more like her).  So what does she do?  Harnesses up, and beings to try and find her footing.

She first went up a few "rocks" , and then came down (repelling like she's done it for years).  She went up a second time, and went up even higher, third time, higher, until reality set in and she realized just how high up she was.

I learn so much everyday from my kids, and they have no idea that I too am just trying to find my own footing.

That magical moment . . .

There is not much I love more than going to the movies.  (Almost) doesn't matter what movie it is.  Trust me, with two little girls, I've seen movies I would NEVER normally see.  Yet, in EVERY film,  there is that moment , the same moment every time.  My favorite instant of each and every film. . . . The lights go down, the UNIVERSAL logo fades up, and the familiar fanfare vibrates through your entire body.  It's the moment where anything is possible .   My hopes are up that I could potentially see , feel, experience something I've never experienced before.  The HOPE that I will be upset when the movie ends because I can never see it again for the "first time".

Unfortunately, I usually horribly disappointed, but on those rare times, it's magical.

Torn . . .

What do you do when your child is scared to do something that you know isn't scary and is even good for them?  I suppose the answer is "you make them do it".  This weekend , my little girl went for her first ice skating lesson (yes, even in California there are places to ice skate).  Sure there is the potential to fall and get bumps and bruises, but overall, not a dangerous activity.  But she was scared.  She made it out onto the ice, but couldn't move an inch.  She caught my eye and started crying.  She wanted my help.  Well, there is no worse feeling than looking back at your sweet little girl and saying "you'll be great", and then turning away so as not to make more eye contact.  I know it was good for her, and I KNEW she would end up loving it.  But those moments stick with you for a long time.  If it had gone bad, and she didn't rise to the occasion, would she look at me always and say "my dad didn't help me when I needed it" ?  The job of a parent is really challenging, as any parent knows, but those internal struggles are even more difficult than the daily physical ones.  Needless to say, she lived up to her name and not only was able to do it on her own, but another little girl came up to her and asked MY daughter for help.  Another proud moment in the day in the life of being a parent.  Way to go E ! 

Just Married (in style)

Forget limo's, horse drawn carriages. . . leaving your wedding in a classic Impala says, we're married in style!  So many people take their weddings so seriously.  Although it's a serious commitment, it's supposed to be fun and a celebration of the two people .  I love when couples have fun with their weddings.  Not only is it more realistic, but it takes some of the pressure off.  The best advice the priest that married my wife and I (side note, and speaking of "style", the first time I met him he pulled up on his Harley) was that whatever happens, right or wrong, pretend it was supposed to happen.  Nobody will be the wiser.  I've kind of vered off a bit on a tangent, but the point I was making that being married in style isn't just about the wheels. . .it's about the attitude.

Sugar-free diet . . .

I can't say that I'm sad.  I know the girls love her, but I'm tired of cleaning up after the "house trained" dog.  Pooping and peeing on the carpet is not fun for me (did I mention the girls can't even be in the same room with the poop without gagging).  The dog has brought a lot of smiles and exercise with long walks on the trail, and of course, so good photographs, but I don't think we (ok me) is ready for a full time dog.

Bye Sugar. . . we'll see you around the neighborhood

Thanksgiving visitor . . .

 So, like usual, we gather at family's house for Thanksgiving dinner.   This year, we had an extra guest.  This cat (who's name is now Smokey) found a spot near the action and was happy watching us the whole night.  Maybe he was looking to get some scraps, but he hung out til the last guest left.  .  .

i see me

I thought this was a fitting photo of me since this is how my family sees me.  My wife has "joked" that when I die, there will be no record in pictures that I ever existed.  Maybe it's partially because I'm a photographer, but I hate seeing myself in photos.  Similar to my last post, I see myself in photos quite differently than I do in my own head.  So, I'd rather avoid reminding myself altogether of just how I look.  I'm completely happy with being represented by a camera in front of my face.  It doesn't hurt either to throw the 'non-camera' part of me out of focus either.

Some people are more 'camera shy' than others . . .

Well, I'm not sure if this perfectly portrays "shy", but there are times when people just don't want their picture taken. No matter what you look like, pretty, ugly, tall, short, good hair day, bad hair day (no hair day), people have a view of themselves that is often not the same view as others have of them. Last night, out with the girls and friends, I wanted to take a picture of my friend. Whenever I pointed the camera her way (even in "stealth mode"), I got the blocking of the face, or turning away. She was too aware of me. There was nothing I was going to do or say to get her to look at me. I'm not a fan of "posed" shots anyway. The candid photograph far better represents the person's look than when they are posing for the camera. No matter if you're the biggest ham in the world, the fact of knowing your picture is taken makes your face not your face any longer. Often times, even if a person is "good" at posing/smiling, there is an immeasurable essence missing. Well, don't tell her, but I did get a nice one of her watching her daughter that she wasn't aware of.  This one is not that one, however,  my friend, I think you're "#1" too.

Goldilocks and the three bears . . .

All the fighting and screaming and not listening seems to not matter when they're sleeping.I don't know what it is, well, actually I do. . . peacefulness. Every day is filled with chaos, and running, and fighting. When night comes and everyone is silent, it reminds you of how special and innocent these little people are.

I told you so . . .

Kids want a dog SO bad. "We'll take care of it", "We'll walk it", "We'll clean up after it". Is it wrong to say "I told you so" to children?

We're dog sitting for a week. . it's just day 1 (alright, technically at this hour of 1:50am it's day 2) and I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have been the dog wranglers. I suppose I knew in my heart that's the way it would be, but I was hoping maybe it would be (could be) different. Anyway, for now at least, I hope this week can be a lesson in responsibility for the day, if it should ever come, that we do get a dog.

shooting a friend's wedding . . .

I have to say, there is nothing that stresses me out more than shooting a friend's wedding.With 'strangers', I am so concerned that I get them the best images possible , but with friends, it takes it to a new level. I have full confidence in myself as a photographer, but I have to live up to being a good friend as well. I couldn't have asked for a better setting for my friends Brad and Juwana. Stinson Beach, sunset. . . please! If I couldn't get something good, then I need to stop photography immediately. The wedding was small and intimate and really fantastic. The certainly focussed on what was important. . themselves. Just hit the 'send' button on the email with the instructions to view their images. . . will be nervous until I hear back.

8 girls, last soccer game + mud = loss (but lots of fun)

it had rained the night before, so you knew this morning's game was going to be challenging.  As if the girls weren't struggling to get their own feet under them firmly for their first year of soccer, and in life, but now "someone" had to throw mud all over the field.  At times, playing with the mud when out of the game, was more interesting than the game itself.  The result was a lot of fun, a LOT of mud, and a "post last game pizza party".