The Blog

Sad Reminders. . .

As many of you know, because I feel like I say it all the time, but I've lost so many people in my life.  Today, I got a notification to "Connect with (person) on Linked in to see what their up to".  Although this was not a family member, it was someone I knew who recently passed away.  I guess the last thing people think of when dealing with all that goes along with losing a loved one is closing online accounts, but it's so unsettling to me.

I've also had that happen to me SEVERAL times with spam.  When something trolls your address book, on online connections and sends you fake emails from them.  I've received several emails from my sister who passed away 6 years ago.  

When I see the email come in, and see that it's from Marni Clemens, three things happen.  The first thing is this crazy, unrealistic, preposterous, impossible sense of hope goes through my entire body.  Again, it's not my rational brain thinking at that moment. . it's the emotional side of my brain, that in an micro instant thinks. . . what if she was actually still here and that her dying was just a dream? (I know. . kooky).    The second thing that happens is exceptional sadness.  It's like the universe is reminding me "Don't get too happy there, Michael!  Remember , your sister died".  Then, the third thing to happen is anger.  How DARE this non human digital box on the other end of the internet be so irresponsible as to send me something like this.  

I don't know that in this digital world that we are all tethered to, that this will ever stop happening.  But I really wish it would.