In relation to my last blog post, my older daughter had a performance at school the other day where her class was to sing in front of the school as they hosted the church service that day. I got there early to get a good seat .  Well, as I looked back at the entrance to the church, I saw my daughter upset.  I know the face.  I got up to see what was wrong, and she said her stomach hurt.  This was a pretty clear case of anxiety and stage fright.  Now, my daughter has done things like this before, but for some reason, this was not setting well with her.  Even though she’s the “older” child, she’s by far the more “cautious” and calculated.  She’ll let her little sister lead the way (similar to the kings taster. . if it doesn’t kill the taster, then it’s safe for the king to try).  Well, her teacher saw her crying with me and saying that she didn’t want to go up there.  The teacher obliged her and let my daughter sit with her and watch the performance.

Afterwards, her stomach may have felt much better, but her pride did not. As the crowd recessed from the church, my wife took my daughter aside to talk to her about what she was feeling.  She explained that weather it was an upset stomach, or simply nerves about performing in front of everyone, it was totally understandable and ok.

I was able to catch this vulnerable and comforting moment.

What do you do when your child is scared to do something that you know isn’t scary and is even good for them?  I suppose the answer is “you make them do it”.  This weekend , my little girl went for her first ice skating lesson (yes, even in California there are places to ice skate).  Sure there is the potential to fall and get bumps and bruises, but overall, not a dangerous activity.  But she was scared.  She made it out onto the ice, but couldn’t move an inch.  She caught my eye and started crying.  She wanted my help.  Well, there is no worse feeling than looking back at your sweet little girl and saying “you’ll be great”, and then turning away so as not to make more eye contact.  I know it was good for her, and I KNEW she would end up loving it.  But those moments stick with you for a long time.  If it had gone bad, and she didn’t rise to the occasion, would she look at me always and say “my dad didn’t help me when I needed it” ?  The job of a parent is really challenging, as any parent knows, but those internal struggles are even more difficult than the daily physical ones.  Needless to say, she lived up to her name and not only was able to do it on her own, but another little girl came up to her and asked MY daughter for help.  Another proud moment in the day in the life of being a parent.  Way to go E ! 

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